The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts by Gary Chapman

Friday, March 25, 2011

The Five Love Languages Summary

Just as everyone has different personalities and likes and dislikes, people also have different love languages. Your love language is the way that you most feel loved and cared for. Experts have aranged these 5 love languages into five easy to use categories:

The first love language is words of affirmation. If this is your love language, you feel most cared for when your spouse or anyone tells you how wonderful they think you are. It could be verbally or through a written note or another creative way of sharing all the great qualities you possess and all the ways the world is a better place because you are in it.

5 Love Languages

Another way you might feel loved it through acts of service. If someone taking your car to get detailed or taking over diaper duty for the day or relieving you of some daunting task really hits home with you, then this might be your love language.

The Five Love Languages Summary

The next area is affection. A hug, kiss, snuggle on the couch or sexual intimacy might be the way you feel most loved if your language is affection. It could be sexual or non-sexual, but physical touch is very important to you.

Quality time could also be your love language. Just being with your spouse, whether it's on some adventure or a fancy date or simply sitting the couch, may be the thing that fills you up the most.

The last of the five love languages is gifts. Everyone enjoys getting a gift, but if the receiving something from your spouse lights your fire the most then this might be your love language. It may not even be the gift itself, but the idea of the thought, the time it took and the knowledge your spouse has of you to pick out such a great gift - that completely fills you up!

One thing to be aware of: you tend to love in the way you desire to be loved. So make sure you find out what your spouse's love language is and seek to be creative and intentional in their love language. Happy language lessons!

The Five Love Languages SummaryThe five Love Languages Tube. Duration : 1.55 Mins.

If you and your spouse speak the same language? While love is a wonderful thing, sometimes it's a very confusing thing, too. And as people in all varieties, shapes and sizes to do so, their decisions on the expressions of personal love. But most of the time, press the transmitter and receiver in two different kinds of love. This can lead to misunderstandings, disputes and even divorce. Dr. Gary Chapman identifies five basic languages of love and couples leads to a betterUnderstanding of their unique language of love. Quality time, words of affirmation, gifts, acts of service and physical touch. Learn to speak and understand the language of your partner, and in no time you will feel able to effectively love and truly love. skillful communication is at hand! Visit www.FiveLoveLanguages.com

Tags: Gary, D., Chapman, Relationship, Marriage, Divorce, Five, Love, Languages, Doctor, Dr, Counselor, Counseling, Family, Children, advice

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Friday, March 18, 2011

Things I Wish I'd Known Before We Got Married

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"Most people spend far more time in preparation for their vocation than they do in preparation for marriage,” Dr. Gary Chapman

No wonder the divorce rate hovers around fifty percent.

Bestselling author and marriage counselor, Gary Chapman, hopes to change that with his newest book. Gary, with more than 35 years of counseling couples, believes that divorce is the lack of preparation for marriage and the failure to learn the skills of working together as intimate teammates.

So he put together this practical little book, packed with wisdom and tips that will help many develop the loving, supportive and mutually beneficial marriage men and women long for. It’s the type of information Gary himself wished he had before he got married.

This is not a book simply to be read. It is a book to be experienced. The material lends itself to heart-felt discussions by dating or engaged couples. To jump-start the exchanges, each short chapter includes insightful “Talking it Over” questions and suggestions. And, the book includes information on interactive websites as well as books that will enhance the couples experience.

Dr. Chapman even includes a thought-provoking appendix. By understanding and balancing the five key aspects of life, dating couples can experience a healthy dating relationship. A revealing learning exercise for dating couples is included at the end.

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Thursday, March 10, 2011

The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts

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Marriage should be based on love, right? But does it seem as though you and your spouse are speaking two different languages? New York Times bestselling author Dr. Gary Chapman guides couples in identifying, understanding, and speaking their spouse’s primary love language—quality time, words of affirmation, gifts, acts of service, or physical touch.

By learning the five love languages, you and your spouse will discover your unique love languages and learn practical steps in truly loving each other. Chapters are categorized by love language for easy reference, and each one ends with specific, simple steps to express a specific language to your spouse and guide your marriage in the right direction. A newly designed love languages assessment will help you understand and strengthen your relationship. You can build a lasting, loving marriage together.

Gary Chapman hosts a nationally syndicated daily radio program called A Love Language Minute that can be heard on more than 150 radio stations as well as the weekly syndicated program Building Relationships with Gary Chapman, which can both be heard on fivelovelanguages.com.

The Five Love Languages is a consistent new York Times bestseller - with over 5 million copies sold and translated into 38 languages. This book is a sales phenomenon, with each year outselling the prior for 16 years running!

Includes a promotional code to gain exclusive online access to the new comprehensive love languages assessment.

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Friday, June 25, 2010

The Five Love Languages Singles Edition

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Being single or married has nothing to do with whether you need to feel loved! Everyone has a God-given desire for complete and unconditional love in all relationships.

Originally written for couples, bestselling The Five Love Languages continues to revolutionize relationships. In The Five Love Languages Singles Edition, Dr. Gary Chapman adapts this powerful message to the unique needs of single adults.

Understanding and applying the five love languages will enhance all relationships. Whether it’s parents, coworkers, classmates, roommates, siblings, dating partners, or friends, The Five Love Languages Singles Edition provides tools to give and receive love most effectively.

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±1±: Best Buy I wish this book had been around and found it's way into my hands when I was 20. Chapters 10 and 11 hit me like a TON OF BRICKS. Heck, for that matter, the entire book did. Young people, please read this book. It will save you a lot of heartache and misery in the area of dating and relationships, no doubt. The contents of this book made clear to me, in stark detail, all of the mistakes I made in the past. So much I could have done differently, so much that might be different now. Knowing these things would have prevented me from aimlessly wandering from so-called relationship to so-called relationship over the years. You will view past relationships through an entirely new prism, and will have the tools to truly love in the present and future. It will no doubt be painful for you if you read this right after a failed relationship, as it was for me. Before reading, I tried to remember to read it looking forward, not back, but that proved to be very difficult. However, it was a process that needed to happen in order for me to grow and learn. You may find a good portion of this book's content to be something that deep down you probably have always known, but either haven't thought about for a long time or lost somewhere along the way. Read this and wander no more. As another reviewer said so well, it truly does prepare you to love. I know I have pleaded with young people, but any single adult would be incredibly served by reading this book. Thank you for writing this, Gary Chapman. I am in debt to you. on Sale!

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts

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Includes a promotional code to gain exclusive online access to the new comprehensive love languages assessment.

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±1±: Best Buy The author, Gary Chapman, has a wealth of experiences coming from actual marriage counseling. He started by underlining that love begins or should begin at home. Very often in a marriage crisis, a primary key problem or element that was overlooked, a fundamental truth, is that people do speak different love languages. A healthy marriage means the ability to speak the love language of your spouse. He underlined the 5 love languages; words of affirmation, gifts, physical touch, acts of service and quality time. And within each love language comes many dialects or sub-groups.

Within the love language of words of affirmation, comes the dialect encouraging words such as giving verbal compliments. Another dialect is kind words, spoken in a kind tone. In general, all of the dialects have in common the use of words to affirm one's spouse. Additional alternative is to give indirect words of affirmation, which is saying positive things about your spouse when he or she is not present.

If a person's primary love language is quality time, it could mean listening and focused attention with a refusal to be interrupted. A dialect could be a quality conversation with sincere eye contact. Another dialect could also be quality activities, when a couple spends time together doing an activity.

For the primary love language of receiving gifts, for some of us to become an effective gift giver, we may have to change our attitude about money. However, this does not necessarily imply lavish gifts, but could be as simple as gifts of self or presence, which could simply mean being present together with your spouse.

In terms of the love language acts of service, it can be seen as the act of love making requests and not demands. Just like in a parent-child relationship, since the child is young and needs guidance, the parent in this situation, having more experiences and therefore will tend to have more authority, often tends to make demands on the child in order to provide guidance. On the other hand, with request comes choice. Put simply, requests give direction to love but demands stop the flow of love. Therefore a spouse should request for acts of services such as cleaning up the laundry, and not impose this as a demand on the other spouse. In an unhealthy marriage, demand comes from a tyrant spouse and tends to make the other spouse belittled. On the other hand, by making requests, it is more on giving guidance and not ultimatums, affirming his/her worth and abilities. Acts of service could be as simple as making the beds every day, having the meal prepared and ready before your spouse returns home from work, etc.

For the love language of physical touch, love touches may be explicit and demands full attention such as a back rub or sexual foreplay, culminating in an intercourse. It could also be implicit and require only a brief moment such as putting your hand on his/her shoulder.

For all marriages or relationships, to love and to continue loving is a choice. Very often, the initial in-love experience simply happens in the normal context of male-female relationships, un-premeditated. It tends to temporarily meet one's emotional need for love. Our emotions soar with the thought that another person sees us as number one, that your spouse is willing to devote time and energy exclusively to this relationship. For a brief period, however long it lasts, emotional need for love is met. In time, however, we come down from that natural high, back to the real world and this is when problems start mounting. When he/she descends from that emotional high, he/she may start having the natural yearnings of unmet emotional needs. If one is unable to speak the love language of your spouse, eventually all communication channels will break down and the marriage or relationship is unable to sustain any longer.

Simply put, most couples get married when they still have the euphoric feelings of being in love. When these euphoric feelings evaporate some time after marriage and differences begin to emerge, they often find themselves in conflict. With no positive plan for resolving conflicts, they often find themselves speaking harshly to each other. Harsh words create feelings of hurt, disappointment and anger. Over time, this may result in divorce or infidelity.

In reality, love is not our only emotional need. Among our basic needs are the need for security, self-worth, significance, etc. Love, however, interfaces with all of these. If you feel loved by your spouse, you can relax and feel secured.

Gary relates an actual counseling where a spouse wondered she can ever love her husband after all that he has done to her. Her husband was unwilling to seek counseling and therefore was very much a one-sided request for help and advice. Gary recommended a 6-month experiment where she was the only one who put in the efforts by trying to speak her husband's love languages. Over time, her husband had slowly over this same course of time, started to love her again and begin to learn to speak her love language as well. This is indeed an encouragement for someone who is the only one struggling to keep the marriage alive!

This book is recommended for any couple who desires a healthy marriage and seems to provide possible solutions for a world-wide mounting divorce rates.

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